[Previous entry: "Rodeohead"] [Next entry: "UrbanDictionary.com's Interesting Method of Online Quality Control"]
06/13/2004: "Happy Birthday Olsen Empire"
The Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen empire turned 18 today to the delight of countless little girls everywhere, many an internet pervert, and Ross.
Their parents have done an outstanding job or turning cute twins into a media empire. They're done a much better job of sustainably exploiting their children than Gary Coleman's did.
Ross (the primary reason I have much knowledge of them at all, aside from Alyssa Hubbard's devotion to their shows/videos) resurrected one of the pages from his old Olsen-Fans site. Ross has sworn (for the past five years or so that I've known him) that the site started as a bar joke. It (and my collection of Britney Spears stickers) was a constant form of amusement where we were working, and is responsible for some of the most fun smack-talk sessions I've ever witnessed or participated in. 
My defense of the Britney stickers was simple: at least she was already 18. /snicker
I guess the internet perverts will have to reset their counters now... to when Mary-Kate and Ashley turn 21... in hopes, perhaps, of taking them out for a drink.
It's my hope that someone gives them a trip to the Betty Ford clinic or teaches them how to eat for their birthday. They look emaciated: like they're strung out on something, or eating very improperly (or both) in the pictures I've seen of them lately. It's sad to see the little girls from Full House (one of the most inane shows ever on television) starting to exude "crackwhore chic."
