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Home » Archives » March 2005 » Podcast Update & State of the (Very Cranky) Dan

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03/27/2005: "Podcast Update & State of the (Very Cranky) Dan"


I'd originally intended to do two podcasts per week, but that's just not doable, alas. I'd also hoped to get one done this weekend, but instead... I got SICK.

I don't mean your run-of-the-mill sniffly feel-like-crap sick, I mean the "please God let me sleep until I'm better, or just let me die" kind. I woke up Thursday with intense abdominal pain, fever and chills, and about all that's changed is the intensity. I'd almost use a word like "bearable" to describe my current state of being, but it's not... it's intolerable. Anything I eat is processed and output as a liquid... just about every time I wake up (every hour and 1/2 or so).

I was able to eat some solid food yesterday, and braved out into the world today to a restaurant near my house. This was a mistake.

There was a disjointed line, more of a "mass" really, of "humanity" in front of the register. I inquired of someone standing nearby: "Are you in line?" and was met with a vague hand gesture, a monosyllabic grunt which apparently meant "no habla Englais," and perhaps the dirtiest look I've been given recently. Yeah, fuck me for speaking English in the United States.

When it was my turn to order, I ordered an egg/cheese/potato burrito. No hablo Espanol, but I can at least order a huevos, queso y papas burrito. NO chorizo... which I did. I watched the cashier (who speaks perfect English) write my order on the ticket... "huevos, queso y papas." I specifically told her "NO CHORIZO."

After watching everyone in the restaurant get served their meal, regardless of whether they'd entered/ordered before or after me, the server brought my food. I pushed my fork into the burrito to immediately reveal a most vile concoction of ground pig testicles and cow anus... which is what I'm sure is actually in chorizo, perhaps the nastiest "sausage" known to mankind.

I immediately went to the counter, asked for a refund, and left. I'm obviously never going to eat there again.

One last thing:

Apparently several jackasses have interpreted my requests for comments as "hey, would you please post as many links as possible to your porn/drug/casino/etc. site(s)?" This is an INCORRECT interpretation. In fact, this type of comment spamming is unwelcome.






Replies: 3 Comments

on Monday, March 28th, Beth said

Sorry to hear your weekend sucked. I've been getting worried that Outchurched was going to fade off as a Good Idea That Just Didn't Work Out. Hope you're on the road to feeling better by now.

And don't dis the chorizo! Magical stuff in my opinion.

on Wednesday, March 30th, hans said

will you post a link to my CHORIZO PORN site? mucho gusto, amigo.

on Monday, April 4th, Lloyd said

Hey dude! Sorry to hear you weren't feeling well. I think a run to Vegas coupled with some serious slots and card playing and some jack-jack-jack and Coke would have definitely straightened you up. Oh well, sorry you missed this run. Maybe the next one with Ross man and me.

March 2005
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